


Age Restrictions

by kakashionmain



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Andromeda: UH, Andromeda: uh-, Angst, Beauxbatons, Canon-Typical Violence, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Dimension Travel, Drama, Durmstrang, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Harry Potter Has PTSD, Harry Potter is Teddy’s Dad, Harry: EVERYTHING! MINIMAL ASSISTANCE, Harry: I will do everything, Healing, Heavy Angst, Hero Complex, Horcrux Hunting, Hurt/Comfort, Magic, Master of Death (Harry Potter), Master of Death Harry Potter, Not Canon Compliant, Not Canon Compliant - Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Not Epilogue Compliant, POV Alternating, Parental Harry Potter, Semi-sentient goblet of fire, Sentient Hogwarts, Time Travel, Trauma, WHO LET THIS MAN HAVE A BABY????, Worldbuilding, its harry guys cmon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 06:02:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30051027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kakashionmain/pseuds/kakashionmain
Summary: Dumbledore reached out a long hand and seized the parchment.  He held it out and stared at the name written upon it.  There was a long pause, during which Dumbledore stared at the slip in his hands, and everyone in the room stared at Dumbledore.  And then Dumbledore cleared his throat and read out —“Harry Potter.”Everyone turned to look at the boy in question, but he was gone.  In his place stood a taller — if still short — man with messy black hair and a squalling baby.“Please,” the man begged, “please just tell me what you want from me!  I’m so tired!  I will do anything!  Just stop crying!”“Master Harry,” said an elf fumbling at his side, “Kreacher has fetched the milk as requested, but thinks Master Harry should look around for a moment as we have been dislocated.”“What?” asked the man, baby still wailing.“Kreacher is terribly sorry for the inconvenience, Sir.”“What?”All at once the Great Hall Exploded.  It was not some strange man at all:  it was Harry Potter!  Older and possessing a child, yes, but Harry Potter all the same.  How could this be?
Relationships: Albus Dumbledore & Harry Potter, Goblet of Fire & Harry Potter, Harry Potter & Hogwarts Staff, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry & Harry Potter, Kreacher & Harry Potter, Remus Lupin & Teddy Lupin, Sirius Black & Harry Potter, Teddy Lupin & Harry Potter, Teddy Lupin & Nymphadora Tonks
Comments: 6
Kudos: 65





	Age Restrictions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOT ME STARTING ANOTHER WIP!?

The Goblet had not seen activation for many, many years, and the first thing these Wizards do is restrict its power! An age limit! Safety precautions! How Wizard Society has fallen! In the days of the Creator, the Goblet saw as many as 24 good wixen felled in a single tournament! Now, however, the Goblet had been altered! Worthy no longer meant the Goblet’s discretion, but whichever wixen from the pool were most likely to live. Gone were the days where the Goblet could choose the biggest thrill-seeker, the most ambitious applicant, the most creative candidate! It was scandalous! Practically blasphemy against the Creator! If Thaddeus could see His creation now! The Grand-Master would have Kneazles, Goblet knew. Its Creator wanted nothing more than to spread chaos and carnage whilst proving himself to be the pinnacle of runecraft and ritual binding.

But no matter! The Goblet would preserver and fulfill its prime objective even with these complications. This year, in addition to messing with the sacred criterion, the wixen had finally deigned to include more than three applicant pools again!

Except, most disappointingly, one of the lists only had one person. One! How insulting! Was this not the Goblet of Fire, Guardian and Arbiter of the Moste Sacred WizTournament? And the sole candidate was underage! What was Goblet to do? Allowing the candidate to participate — and Goblet had to let them participate one way or another, four pools were keyed into its roster and four Champions would come out of its mouth — while underage would violate the new restrictions. Refusing to select them as a Champion was not an option. Oh yes, Goblet was faced with a seemingly impossible task, the kind of situation that made even Sisyphus run away screaming!

That was just the thing, though, it only seemed impossible. Admittedly, it would be impossible for many people, but Goblet was not many people — or even a people at all — it was the Goblet of Fire, and Goblet could do just about anything because of the Creator.

* * *

Goblet was set to announce the night of Samhain, as was tradition and it had taken almost the entirety of the Goblet’s intelligence, vast as it was, to figure out a solution in time. The sole candidate was underage now, but would be of age in a mere few years! And what was a few year to Goblet? Nothing! Nothing at all. It had waited far longer for its current bout of battle and bloodshed, after all.

All Goblet had to do was pluck the candidate after they were over the age of 17 — impossible for one not created by the Most Great Thaddeus Wilkinson the Third! But Goblet was made by the Great Thaddeus Wilkinson the Third, so it was simple! So after announcing the Champion for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Cedric Diggory — strong magical power, intelligent, noble — worthy in a classical sense but Thaddeus would have detested him so Goblet hoped this one died), Beauxbaton Academy of Magic (Fleur Delacour — ambitious, ruthless, determined — worthy in the sense a general is worthy of war), and Durmstrang Institute of Magical Art-forms (Viktor Krum — athletic, crafty, if a bit simple — worthy in the way a knight is worthy to protect his lord) the Goblet acted! Pulling on space and time and leylines and a bit more space, Goblet plucked Harry Potter (powerful, deadly, broken — worthy in the way tragedies are worthy of being written, in the way Thaddeus so loved) from years in the future and plopped them into the here and now. Goblet had accidentally brought two tag-alongs but that just made the feat more impressive!

Job done, the Goblet of Fire ceased its flame and laid itself to rest, ignorant of the pandemonium it had brought about. Or, perhaps, reveling in it, the way a ghostly Thaddeus Wilkinson the Third was on this Most Blessed Samhain.

* * *

(Contrary to popular belief, what Goblet has just done was not simple and more than a little impossible. The Harry Potter plucked out of Space Time is a Harry Potter that already competed in the WizTournament at age 14, a Harry Potter already bound to the Goblet of Fire. This Harry-Potter-plucked-out-of-Space-Time fulfills all requirements in the most backhanded way. This Harry Potter is about to decimate the tournament and the world — and only the Goblet and a Ghost know it. No matter! All for Thaddeus, as Goblet would say.)


End file.
